In my week at home after my second miscarriage, I experienced great peace and understanding from the Lord. I just lost my baby! I was destroyed…yet I felt peace.
We are never experiencing this pain alone. I found great comfort in John 11 when Jesus’ dear friend Lazarus dies. The Bible tells us in John 11:35 that “Jesus wept.” Jesus knew he was going to raise Lazarus from the dead and yet he wept. Why? Jesus loves each person he created, and, as Lazarus died, he felt the great pain of those around him. He empathized with them, entered their pain, and wept. As I laid on my couch weeping, I knew Jesus was weeping with me. He took on my burden.
There were many people surrounding me as I went through this loss. Some were helpful, some were not. My mom left a business trip in Europe in order to hold me in her arms. This was immense. I remember she braided my hair as she did when I was a child, she took me out to lunch, bought me some fun earrings, and she just held me. She didn’t offer false comfort or throw statistics of miscarriage at me. She took on my pain and helped me to heal.
A good friend called me last week to tell me her sister had just gone through the pain of a miscarriage. She wanted to know what to do to help her sister. I remembered that this friend and her husband were incredible healers during my miscarriages. After meeting them for dinner one night, her husband went home and researched miscarriage. He sent me an email saying how wrecked he was for us and included several resources for dealing with pain. He didn’t offer false comfort or throw statistics of miscarriage at me. He took on my pain and helped me to heal.
Another woman gave me a plant that flowered the same time every year. She told me “Each year as it blooms you’ll remember your blessed baby.” I love that she didn’t try to make my pain go away. This gesture told me it was okay to feel like I did, and she actually encouraged me to embrace my pain.
As human beings we all will hurt sometime, and it’s nice to know that others are willing to walk with us during our darkest times.